Hello, and welcome to Vrzhu Bullets of Love blog, the only blog with the Fine Beekeeping seal of approval.
For a while now, poets have been writing into the Vrzhu Research Bureau (a wholly owned subsidiary of Vrzhu Press) and asking: “Dear Vrzhu Research Bureau, how can I take advantage of today’s exciting new “web log” technology to increase my market share in the highly competitive world of being noticed by the rest of the poetry world?”
Well, as Mark Twain said, "Don’t panic! The VRB is here to take advantage for you!"
INTRODUCING OUR NEWEST SERVICE
That’s right, the VRB is on the cusp of introducing a dynamic new way to make your poetry successful and talked about! Now you cannot only be part of the conversation, you yourself can be a topic of conversation by signing up for the VRB Blogtopia Mentioning Service (BMS).
What is the VRB Blogtopia Mentioning Service?
Many of you have invested in previous VRB products and services, such as
The Poetry Poncho
TheInspiration Poetry Success Training
Famous Poem Tablets
Poetry Protective Safetywear
Now, VRB’s Blogtopia Mentioning Service takes it to a whole new level. With BMS, for just a small monthly fee, we will work your name into every single one of our patented “vrzhu” posts. This is guaranteed. No matter how unrelated the post topic might seem your name will be seamlessly woven into it so as to appear an organic and integral part of the whole.
Of course that's just the basic service. For a limited time during this introductory period, we are also offering the BMS Enhanced Package. The BMSEP includes up to 4 links of your choice per month, with an appropriate context, photos of you in every 5 out of seven posts (cumulatively), and selected quotes by you highlighted at your request in every other post. And this special package is TOTALLY FREE for the first 9 months, and at a 27% discount off our regular enhanced package price from then on.
But, exciting as that sounds, hold on! Because THAT'S NOT ALL. For just $4.99 more a month--that's right! $4.99 (are we crazy or what?!)--you have the fantastic opportunity to become one of the few customers receiving our BMS Executive Deluxe Skybox Service. Our BMSEDSS service is UNIQUE in the blogroll servicing industry, and we accept only a very limited number of applications for this high end product. With our Executive Deluxe Skybox service, here's what you’ll get:
Everything already included in both the basic and the enhanced service
- Posts especially designed to highlight your interests and strengths, put together by our internationally recognized team of "Mentioneers."
- Posts with photoshopped pictures of you with nationally-known poets, writers, celebrities and politicians, including such activities as shaking hands, laughing together, in serious conversation holding drinks, and seated at the same table at national poetry events such as the AWP Conference.
- Blurbs about your work from respected poets, scholars and critics inserted into posts.
- Insightful and memorable quotes by you written by our crack research team on topics covered in posts, including meme-worthy catchphrases, epigrams and apothegms. SoQ, anyone?
- Penetrating, controversial comments in your name and writing style by that same crack research team in OTHER poetry blogs on a regular basis.
We're TOTALLY EXCITED to be able to offer you this amazing service. Why not sign up today? An initial, binding, three year contract with your name on it is waiting for YOU to say YES.
Our amazing new service will leave you "Speechless, upon a peak in Darien!"
Note: This service may not be available in some jurisdictions and on some network servers. Void where prohibited.